Things I Have Learned From My Mistakes

Driving home from work today I started thinking about some bad decisions I have made. I've made a lot but there are some that stick out more than others. Maybe I shouldn't write about them but since they involve my boys and my boys do NOT read my blog I really do feel like I can write about anything and I will not be in trouble with them.

The decisions I write about are not in any type of order. If I did that then I would have to think...plan...think. That's not how I write my blog. I have to do too much of that during the week.


IF YOUR CHILD IS A TODDLER AND ONLY ASK FOR ONE THING FROM SANTA CLAUSE, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS TO BUY IT. When Brent was barely three only a couple of weeks before Christmas all he asked from Santa was a football uniform. Well, every boy in the United States wanted one also. Frantically I called Sears, J. C. Penney, everyone. No luck. As I always did back then I called Mother. Her one and only comment to me was "Well, Betsy, if that's all he wanted why did you wait so late?" I don't know. Nana is a problem solver and did her thing! She called around and a neighbor had a little boy just a little older than Brent. She got his used football pants. She found the rest of the stuff at Otasca. This was one proud little boy!


ALWAYS DRESS YOUR CHILDREN AS THOUGH THE WORLD IS WATCHING. A couple of weeks ago I had a prospective Ph.D. student in my office. When I introduced my self she said "Oh..I know you." Well, I'm thinking "No you don't." Then, she said "I teach next to Doris Smith and she talks about you all the time and she always tells people how when your boys were in elementary school you would put their school clothes on them at bed time. Then, when they woke up they were dressed for school!" Please forgive me. I did not know that would come back and haunt me 20 years later. I taught next to Doris for 9 1/2 years. We were best friends. After I just kinda laughed and thought "Get me out of here" she then said "And, Shane used to go to school with his clothes on backwards."

Okay, that's enough. Maybe putting them to bed with their clothes on was stupid but if you had to deal with Shane in the mornings trying to get ready for school, you would let him wear whatever he wanted also. I'm sure that's why I dressed them for school at night. If I didn't, Shane would be going to school with his clothes on backward every day of the week. At least there were some weeks he went to school with his clothes on the right way.

I can't count the times I thought as he was walking to the school door "I wonder what his teachers are thinking." Doris loves telling stories on me but hey...my mornings before work were peaceful. If you have young children, can you say that?

DON'T ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE EVERYTHING THEY WANT. When Shane was 12 (1993) he begged and begged for a Barry Sanders football jersey. We didn't have much money and the "official" jersey was $100. Can you believe that? I'm talking 1993. I bought it. He PROMISED me he would wear it every where he went. I told him he better. He wore it probably twice.

Here he is somewhere in Colorado during our Winter Park Spring Break vacation

And here he is again

For years I kept it hanging in the closet as a reminder to never do something like that again. He seldom wore it. It was heavy and uncomfortable. I don't think, to this day, Gary knows what I paid for it.

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT THERE WILL BE TIMES THEY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON'T WANT TO. On just about one of the biggest days of my life, my boys were sleeping! I received my doctorate degree May 14, 1994. Gary and my sister had their cameras. Can you imagine my face when I saw this picture that was taken on one of the biggest days of my life! Maybe it's not the biggest day of my life but on that day...it felt like it.

I'm showing you the picture because I want you to know who was sleeping during my graduation...well it was EVERYONE. There's my oldest, Brent, with his head down. Poor Josh, he didn't even try to hide the fact. Then, Shane, with his head ever so tilted sound asleep, and then, Chris. He even covered his eyes! I love you guys! Glad you were there!

DON'T LET A TWO YEAR OLD TELL YOU HOW TO DECORATE A TRAVEL TRAILER. When we bought the travel trailer last September I asked Anna Claire what color she wanted her room. Orange. Done. It's orange. Now she wants it purple. Brent, the wise one, said "Well, Mom, that's what you get for letting a two year old tell you how to decorate a room."

There's a lot more but I do have to keep some kind of peace in the family. There's the famous story about the plastic eye that Brent put up his nose (or was it ear?) so his cousins couldn't get it. That led to a trip to the emergency room Christmas Eve....or maybe the story about me sending Christmas stockings to several of the guys in Shane's unit in Iraq.....and then there's the story that everyone in the family still discusses--my trip to see Shane while he was still in basic training and I did "not follow orders." I've learned a lot from my mistakes.